Self

Overlapping emotions and the motion of my stomach swings to try to accompany them in a nauseating wave, I struggle to calm. Anxious and empty. Fully aware and solid like lead bullets flying through empty space before vanishing into hearts without a trace. Fall like autumn on unsuspecting children who’ll dance through puddles and muddle through mixed messages as their parents teach them to embrace the moment, but keep their hands to themselves. Shelve the books, shelve the dirty looks and store the emotional baggage on a plane that’s destined to be taken hostage. Lose control to the disciplined instructions of passionately ignorant and courageously stupid captors. Get lost in expectations and reflections in store windows, can you see yourself in their stereotypes? Wipe the make up off your face and vanish without a trace into an empty identity. You are the you that no one else can see, if you let yourself be this will it piss him off? Will she fail to be your friend, is it the end when you succeed independently from the Banana Republic? You don’t know yet, but you let your hair down, falling off the shoulders in waves, you grow older as you shed the winter coat in colder company. Alone, empty, strong and vulnerable - empty and aware, looking straight ahead, they all will stop to stare, and you will wonder

Why did no one look before?